stop, Stop, STOP!

Don't post any further until you read the following. This is my BROADCAST STYLE report of the highlight of my Spring Break:

(MAMANE)

NO REST FOR THE WEARY THIS SPRING BREAK.

AS THE TENSION RISES LEADING UP TO THE MUCH ANTICIPATED HOLIDAY... THIS TATTERED AND TORN TEACHER BEGINS HER R&R WITH ANXIETY.

MY DAUGHTER HAD ALREADY LEFT FOR DETROIT WITH HER FATHER TO ATTEND HER COUSIN'S BAR MITZVAH.

I DIDN'T GET GO BECAUSE I COULDN'T GET TIME OFF WORK BEFORE THE BREAK TO ATTEND.

SO WHAT DID I DO?

I WENT SHOPPING... AND I BOUGHT A NEW DINING ROOM TABLE AND CHAIRS FOR MY NEW APARTMENT.

LITTLE DID I KNOW THAT THE BOX IT CAME IN... YES I HAD TO ASSEMBLE IT MYSELF... WAS BIGGER THAN MY CAR.

AT 10 O'CLOCK AT NIGHT... MY OPTIONS FOR HAULING THE OVER-SIZED AND EXTREMELY HEAVY BOX WERE LIMITED.

SO THE NEXT MORNING... I RENTED A TRUCK FROM HOME DEPOT... PICKED UP A COUPLE OF HISPANIC GENTLEMEN STANDING ON THE CORNER AND TOOK THE BOX TO MY HOME.

THEY STRUGGLED UP THE ONE FLIGHT OF STAIRS AND INTO MY LIVING ROOM... WHERE THEY LEFT THE BOX FOR ME TO WORK ON.

COME MONDAY... I CAME TO WORK TO TAKE CARE OF SOME BUSINESS THAT COULDN'T BE LEFT UNATTENDED.

BY THE WAY... THERE'S NO A/C IN THE BUILDING DURING THE BREAK.

TUESDAY AND WEDNESDAY I WORKED FEVERISHLY TO FINISH UP MY TAXES SO I COULD GET MY TAX REFUND... BUT THE IRS KEPT REJECTING MY TAX RETURN.

AFTER A FEW ADJUSTMENTS THAT LOWERED THE AMOUNT OF MY RETURN... THE IRS FINALLY ACCEPTED ME.

AND I WAS HAPPY... AND I LAID OUT AT THE POOL.

BUT... ALAS... A GROUP OF DRUNK YOUNGSTERS MADE IT DIFFICULT TO ENJOY MY TANNING SOLITUDE.

SINCE MY DAUGHTER HAD COME BACK FROM DETROIT EARLIER IN THE WEEK... HER SPRING BREAK SCHEDULE BEING DIFFERENT FROM MINE... I STILL HAD TO GET UP EARLY TO TAKE HER TO SCHOOL.

NO REST FOR THE WEARY.

BUT THE WEEK ENDED WELL AS THE JEWISH HOLIDAY OF PASSOVER BEGAN FRIDAY NIGHT AND SEDERS TOOK PLACE ALL OVER THE WORLD.

I JOINED A FAMILY I RECENTLY MET FOR THE FIRST NIGHT OF PASSOVER... MY DAUGHTER WAS WITH HER FATHER.

THEY ACCEPTED ME INTO THEIR HOME WITH OPEN ARMS AND LOTS O' MATZAH.

I SPENT THE SECOND NIGHT OF PASSOVER WITH MY TWO DAUGHTERS AT A SYNAGOGUE I RECENTLY JOINED.

WE RAN INTO SOME FAMILIAR FACES AND MADE MANY NEW FRIENDS.

ALL IN ALL SPRING BREAK WAS OK.

I MAY NOT GET VERY MUCH REST... EVEN ON VACATION... BUT THIS WEARY WORKAHOLIC KNOWS HOW TO KEEP ON TRUCKIN'.

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Of course, your news report doesn't have to be this long. This is just my style.
Have fun and tell me a good story.